I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
