I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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