you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
