Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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