We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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