so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
