Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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