I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
