I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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