if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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