is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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