i'm signing you up for texting rehab
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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