He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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