Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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