i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
