He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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