you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
