It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
