Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
