i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize
