im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
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