I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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