But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
