Quick, to the slutcave!
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
