It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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