i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
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