Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
