on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
