____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize