That's intense
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
