Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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