I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
