So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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