Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
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When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
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I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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