Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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