I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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