SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
