Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
