He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize