You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
