There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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