He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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