I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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