I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
