I am full of burrito and curiosity
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
dude. I can hear the air.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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