Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
