Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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