Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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