Can i not drive my cunt home
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
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