id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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