ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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