im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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