Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
