She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
im six kinds of drunk right now
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
