it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
