I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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