Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
