one might say we're banned from that church
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
