Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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