being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize