I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
