At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
