yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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