Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
