"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My penis needs a shock collar
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize