My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The chlamydia really affected his face.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
